It’s Your Nature..

One of my fears… forgetting. 

We sat down at our table for supper last night, my eyes met the window and I sprinted out the door to capture the view just before the sun set over the hill. It was beautiful. Like a painted picture. Green fields, bright orange sunset, cows on the hill, flowers…. 

Isn’t it lovely?

And in that same instant another picture came to mind, unexpectedly. 

Fire. 

Little fires surrounding where our house used to stand. An attempt to minimize the chaos the weather had brought. Little fires all across the ridge. Families working to burn what was left that wasnt salvageable. Mangeled belongings.

That sprint to the sunset took me back. 

One of my biggest fears is forgetting. I just don’t want to forget the moments of faithfulness in the past… the faces and groups. The angels in disguise that I’m convinced crossed our path.

I want to take a minute to write this and  think back, if nothing else but to remind myself of Gods faithfulness. I can’t sleep tonight. You remember the song, “count your blessings”… well, I need to count them tonight and maybe we should just count them together.  I need to release this gratitude. 

I scrolled through some pictures tonight when sleep wouldn’t come. 

I think about the night before and even the week before a lot. Is that odd? I  look at the pictures and think how I had no idea what was around the corner but also how the Lord knew. He knew because he had made provision months before for us to leave home that night. I’m still amazed over it-I’ll probably never get over it. 

I left the fresh bread on the counter. The hot cocoa bombs we had made, because we would be back. 

And then we weren’t. 

The hours before going and actually seeing our home felt like an eternity. My husband had come back from our neighborhood that night in a state I had never seen him in. I’ve got a picture on my phone that  I had snapped so my mother in law would know what type of bathroom things to pick up for me… and I still hadn’t seen our home. The thought of everything being gone was lost to me, but yet she was already bringing things lost that I didn’t know as truly lost yet. I’ll never forget that feeling. I can’t even describe that day at the farm, it’s a blur. I just really can’t describe it. 

I remember back to staying with our friends until we found a place to call home for the next year. My friend navigated my children and meals flowing through her home to keep us all fed. She did it with grace… She never complained, even though this storm had halted their lives too. Our “home” was made up of totes in her kitchen and living room. Each person had their own “closet” in a large tote. When I think of helping ppl in disaster now, I think “totes”.. isn’t that funny? It’s what we desperately needed because our whole lives fit in them.

organizing our closets

The Rental came and it was hand picked by God.

I had found couch online that somewhat resembled the one we had and I wanted one piece of furniture that reminded my kids of home. They could also deliver that day, lol. Seeing that it was our only piece of furniture we needed it before we could stay. 

I remember our first night in the rental. Every room was empty… except the couch and the blow up mattress we had been given by a local church. We snuggled up in covers, all blessings. Someone had donated a TV and I went and bought some $5 Christmas DVDs and a DVD player since we didn’t have wifi yet. I remember the gratitude for life. The gratitude for each item we had… all given by the Lord. Every true need met by HIM. Saying “I see you…”

Our kitchen would fill up with items from people we didn’t know. The washer and dryer- a gift. So this one we joke about now… a few days before the tornado I had told Chris that I was wanting to invest in a new washer and dryer (be careful what you ask for), lol. Musical instruments-given out of love from one’s who understood how precious they were to all of us. A Christmas tree. Food for the pantry.  And above all peace… when I didn’t think it could be possible…

…I remember the peace.

I remember the exhaustion. 

I remember the emotions.

I remember the love. 

I remember the people. 

I remember our friends. 

I remember the Lord. 

I remember His faithfulness. 

I remember His protection. 

I remember His provision. 

I remember His promises. 

We dwell on His promises. 

There will be ashes. There will be fire, it’s inevitable in this fallen world. But there will be beauty. There will be moments that take your breath away from grief to gratitude. Grief that doesn’t have words and gratitude that words can’t describe. Let’s remind ourselves today friends of where the Lord has brought us from. What He has pulled us out of. But let us never forget the moments when we needed Him the most and He made Himself known. 

This is what I never want to forget. 

When I needed His presence and provision the most-when WE needed Him the most… He made Himself known. 

If you’re sitting in a situation today, I pray He make Himself KNOWN to you, friend. 

The beauty and the ashes.. it’s His specialty. Give them both to Him. 

Today I choose to Praise Him for the beauty but ironically enough-especially the ashes, because it was in the ashes that I saw His true nature. 

He was the peace in our chaos. The reason we could sleep peacefully in that empty house- on a couch and air mattress.. knowing that He would make a way. 

And He has. 

And He still is.

He always will. 

It’s His nature. 

There is no desert that Your streams can't run to

There are no ruins that Your love won't make new

You tell the wasteland that it will bloom again

'Cause it's Your nature

You will restore the years that shame has stolen

You keep the promises that You have spoken

I know this wasteland will be whole again

'Cause it's Your nature

-Kari Jobe, Your Nature