El Roi

I have a lot of progress to share, but I want to share my heart first, so I will share progress in the next blog.

A few days ago, I snapped this picture at the farm.

Isn’t she lovely?

If you know me, you know my love for gardening runs deep. Flowers, vegetables, all the things. I love to watch the new life sprout from the Earth. There’s something in me that longs to provide for my family in this way. It really is pure satisfaction for me when I pull out that jar of veggies  in the middle of winter, knowing that we all made that happen. 

These sunflowers have popped up all over our farm. I had them drying on the back screened porch to harvest for their seeds. The wind (putting it mildly, lol)  scattered them everywhere, literally. I’ve seen others pop up too that I was surprised of-some I had stored in packets in the garden shed or in Chris’ shop. It does something for my soul to see them unexpectedly.

Poppys (stored in a packet either in the garden shed or Chris’ shop)

I snapped the sunflower picture in a moment of pure joy.. In some ways more excited to see them than the form of a house sitting next to them. But I’ve looked at the picture of this particular flower over and over. And as silly as this sounds, I’ve asked multiple times out loud, “What are you saying to me?” Because, it’s speaking something to my soul. 

I’ve hung on to the words, “El Roi” over the last few months, “The God who sees me..”  The earlier portion of this year was rough, not going to lie. One day you’re good, the next day you’re not. One day you’re joyful, the next day drowning in tears and frustration that you are even unsure of where they come from. Are we alive, YES! Do we have MUCH to be grateful for, absolutely! But are we flesh? Yes, unfortunately. And if you’re honest with yourself, I’m sure you’ve had those desert seasons yourself. I’ve spent many days crying out to God with the only words I had… “Do you see me? Do you see us?”

He is always faithful to send the reminder that I need, always. He reminds my soul. He is the “God who sees me.” He is El Roi. It’s in this sunflower that I’m confident that He does see me, as crazy as that sounds. He knows exactly what speaks to my soul. 

Flowers, newness of life. 

He knows what brings me joy, and He goes so far to speak to me about myself through this sunflower. We all face seasons where we’re afraid to not be okay. We don’t want the world to know that we might not have it all together, so we hold back that little piece…but I want to remind you that it’s okay to not be okay, and we all go through seasons where we need each other. We learn from each other, grow from each others struggles, your weak moment might allow someone to dig deep into their desert season and find true healing in ministering to you.

Look closer.

This sunflower is holding back. In metaphor, is it afraid of it’s unfamiliar surroundings? Because where it’s planted is different. It’s barren, desolate, broken. Are you in a barren, desolate, broken place?

“But behold..I am making all things new”

I hear the Lord say, “I am bringing new life to the barren place. I am bringing forth joy in the desert season. It will be unfamiliar, it will be uncomfortable, it will stretch you… but don’t let go.. I am El Roi, I am the God who sees you… I will sustain and I will restore. Fear not… I am making all things new, bringing restoration.”

I don’t want to miss this season. I don’t want to leave the desert season without picking something up to use for the Kingdom. I feel like this flower, maybe you do too. I want more than anything to bloom like this sunflower but I’m holding onto that last bit of fear in moments. The desert season is at its core, desolate and lonely. But if we allow it, it’s beautiful…it brings forth perseverance that can only bloom there. I was like a kid when I saw these flowers blooming, in an unfamiliar home. Now I know what the sunflower is saying, bloom in the unfamiliar, don’t be afraid to allow perseverance to take root.

Romans 5:3-5

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Choose to bloom with me, friend. 

Grab hold of “El Roi” and bloom with me.

Pick up what God has for you in your desert season, nothing is wasted.

Consider it joy.

Pick up hope, run with it, and grow.

Turn your face to the SON and run, there’s much to do.